just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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