So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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