Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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