If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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