I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
