Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I party with great urgency now.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
