I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
