i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
