there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
