Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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