Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
