well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
