I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have aggressive nipples.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
