Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
