Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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