I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
