just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
