Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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