i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
