And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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