So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
