He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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