I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
