wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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