hotel room ftw
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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