we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just high enough for therapy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
