i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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