so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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