So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
