Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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