The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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