is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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