Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
