just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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