What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
