i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
