It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
