Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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