This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
