I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize