I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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