Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
