WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
