After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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