They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
