question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
