turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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