Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
