really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
