so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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