She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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